As I am writing today. our family is standing at a crossroads…
I was recently offered an opportunity to lead a preschool ministry at a church in a suburb of Boise, Idaho. With an unforeseen opportunity like this, we have been surprised, excited, honored and challenged.
In considering the future of our family, this decision is absolutely complex. It brings a host of thoughts, concerns and questions flooding before us…. And frankly, operating in the unknown is exhausting… there are flashes of amazing and dear people flying through my head… I think of all that we would be leaving…California sun, beautiful beaches…I think of my children and their sweet friendships…my own dear friendships… I wonder what new things we would discover and what all we would miss….
It’s heavy…Navigating this path for our family feels much like climbing a mountain in the dark.
But there’s a strange and beautiful experience happening at the very same time…
The struggle to discern what's best, and the angst of not knowing what’s ahead has forced our prayer life to become a lifeline to the Lord like never before. (Well, except for those “twinfancy” years when I was on my knees asking God for the energy to get through just the next five minutes in the middle of the night on the nursery floor!) My husband and I have come to the point where God’s guiding is, truly, ALL we have to cling to.
So in the midst of uncertainty, there have been so many holy and sweet moments:
- Recently, I was walking the path on Esplanade in Tustin and I thought of the Lord, and just smiled… because ultimately, I know He has good plans for us.
- There have been numerous sparks of encouragement through His Word…
The faithfulness of God revealed when His people stepped out in faith speaks strongly to me: the battles that Gideon and Joshua faced by the power of His presence…the confident prayers of Daniel amidst close-mouthed lions…the bolstering I receive when I read Isaiah 26:3, 4:
You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in You,
all whose thoughts are fixed on You!
Trust in the Lord always,
for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.
- He’s given me dear friends who share Scripture, offer constant prayers, texts of encouragement, even offered me airline miles to visit Idaho (incredible, right?!) and simply dial in to ask how we are doing through this process.
- And we have three children who have repeatedly stopped to pray for their parents as we deliberate.
I feel SO held through this time…
But wait, you might ask….....”Are you scared, Sarah?” Yep.
“Do you feel insecure?” Absolutely.
Nerves and stress try to take me down all the time. And sometimes, they win!
Yet I know that I can’t rely on my feelings, and His ways are not my ways (thank goodness!). I belong, we belong to a God who is not affected by emotions. I can only rely on His truths and the things that don’t change. Everything else is like waves whipping on the sea…
So what do we know right now? We know to cling.
Cling to what we know.
We know our God is good...He has good plans….He never leaves us….and He will be with us no matter where we are or what we do…He was faithful to so many others, He has already been faithful to us in previous hardships, why would He change now?
He wouldn’t. He doesn’t. (deep sigh)
I am so grateful to be a dependent and needy child of God. And I pray that same “joy amidst trial” for you. Luther sums it up so well:
But to cling to Him with the heart is nothing else than to trust in Him entirely. For this reason He wishes to turn us away from everything else that exists outside of Him, and to draw us to Himself, namely,
because He is the only eternal good.
- M. Luther
Whatever may come, may you cling to Him, my friends.
In His Big Love,